Count the turns
I ran 7 miles, scarfed some chicken, downed a glass of wine and snuggled into bed. Fueled with a runner's high, I was ready to write about feeling good and contemplating how to make the feeling last forever.
Being happy should be pretty easy given that we're generally healthy and well off. Yet many are absolutely terrible at it. Sane people spend half their day obsessing about being good to themselves and then take the second half to completely demolish all progress.
Recently, I spent all Saturday hanging out with friends, but staying sober, only to go postal at a party and stay up all night. This Peter Pan shit has got to stop.
In your 20s you live like a rock star on the weekends and Mondays are something akin to Dante's Inferno. Sunday Scaries are a thing. Very unbalanced. In our 30s, the new version for many is to give up on life altogether, rushing towards marriage and mortgage and a life style set in stone for the next 60 years. We over hedge against risk to the point of becoming Koalas.
I can understand this when historically survival was harder and life spans were shorter. But today, our kids may live to 120. That's two average life times.
I realize that women have a biological clock to consider and so have every right to tell me to fuck off, but I do believe that technology will change decision criteria here too.
I sincerely believe that your mental game and consistent beliefs dictate if you're facing a personal crisis or thriving. Examples range from the banal to the life changing. And the crux here could be as simple as the story you tell yourself, even if it's not very grounded in reality.
A couple of years ago, I was presented with a $60k (erroneous) medical bill, $100k+ tax liability from Zenefits stock appreciation (without having sold the stocks) and I was struggling to grow a team at work from 1 to 300 (that's stressful). And yet the same mental math applies here as much as it does about whether or not you get mad because your Uber is late.
If the world is built on the laws of physics, it is decorated and organized by stories. Most of legal (a corporation), cultural (Christmas) and business constructs (valuations) exist only in our minds.
Tell a good story, paint a compelling picture and you are the king of the world. As long as your audience believes it, it is so. The key is this collective delusion (seed stage startups), with self delusion thrown in the mix (I can do this!).
If the goal is to find your flow and stay there, then physical health will show you the high and help you bounce back, while mental health will sustain you after muscle soreness goes away. The system is hyper complex and interconnected, but generally the two are highly correlated.
The idea to be just as happy on a Monday (because you like what you do) as on a Saturday night. It's also important to feel happy while being alone. Only a happy mind attracts a happy partner (in theory, misery does love company).
Additionally, it probably helps to embrace intimacy and be loved right now and with this person, even if your paranoid insane fairy tale standard demands that you find someone better.
I put the lap top down and turned over on my left side, starting my pass out dance. Turn left, then right, the left than right. My thoughts would start trailing, the body would get heavy. After a couple of those, I fall into oblivion, ready for groundhog's day, like a newborn with a mustache.
Do you have a thought that hits you right before you fall asleep? For me it's basketball. Not sure why, but if I catch myself imaging someone shooting hoops, I know I'll be asleep in 5 minutes.
Count the turns.
